Food For Thought - "Three Choices"

"Three Choices"
C2003  Gail Pursell Elliott
 

When we are caught up in situations that are difficult or cause confusion, it can be helpful to remember that we always have the power to choose. Having too many choices or options can be confusing and cause us to vacillate while trying to determine what the right thing is to do.

Most of our options can be put into three choice categories:

1. Put up with it.
2. Try to change it.
3. Get out of it.

When we put up with a situation it may seem that we are doing nothing, but that is not necessarily the case. This category is one of assessment. It also may be a time of riding out a situation that we know is temporary and will resolve itself in time with no further action on our part.

We can use the basis of our assessment time to determine what actions we can take to change the situation. What can we do to positively impact the circumstances while maintaining our own honesty and sense of fairness? How much time are we going to allow for change to occur? What will we consider tangible evidence of the change to be?

The third category is often the most difficult. This one involves extricating ourselves from situations that no longer serve us, that we have not been able to affect positively, or can no longer tolerate.

Often we may stay in situations longer than necessary because we believe that we have the power to change them if we just put up with them long enough.

There are situations and circumstances of life that we cannot extract ourselves from externally, that we cannot change, and that we must deal with where we are. These can produce tremendous stress unless we realize that we still have the same categories of options, but that the categories are internal rather than external.

One of the most powerful tools that we have internally is to not take situations personally as much as possible.

There was a phrase popular a number of years ago regarding being in the world but not of it. We can be in a situation but not of it by becoming the observer. Not taking things personally is part of the process of becoming the observer. We can be in a situation without ownership.

What if we are already confronted with a situation in which we have taken ownership? We have the option of extracting ourselves while still being in it by becoming the observer, so that we can see clearly.

This may change nothing on the surface but it will change our perspective. It has been said that perception is more important than reality. Each person’s perception is what he or she has decided is real. It is part of our power to choose.

We generally have little control over the situations that come into our lives but we always control what we do with them, how they affect us, and our response. We can react which keeps us embroiled in the situation, or we can respond from the viewpoint of the observer.

Ultimately, we determine what putting up with, trying to change, or getting out of each circumstance in our lives looks like, sounds like, and feels like to us.

We can use even difficult situations to benefit us through greater insight and awareness, or we can allow them to use us by reacting to and resisting them. We can maintain our personal power or we can give it over to situations. The choice is always ours.

Have a Great Day and be good to yourself.  You deserve it!

Gail

Copyright ©2004 Gail Pursell Elliott All rights reserved.