Food For Thought - "Fair Play"

"Fair Play"
C2002 Gail Pursell Elliott
 

“Turn about is fair play,” is an expression that most of us have heard for years. What a preposterous statement this is. This means, that if we are treated unfairly that it is fair to act unfairly. To me, this makes little sense.

This statement puts forth the premise that we are to base our behavior on someone else’s behavior rather than our own beliefs, and that we are perfectly justified in doing so.

If we are determined to hang onto our personal power and identity, to be true to ourselves, then we cannot fall for this trap regardless of how tempting it may be. When we do allow someone else to determine what we do we have voluntarily become controlled. We have given our power away. At this point we will do whatever we can to regain that, including engaging in activities that we ordinarily would not do.

We may try to excuse ourselves by saying that we are “teaching the person a lesson” or “beating them at their own game.” To do this we have to become proficient at doing something that we think we despise, and to knowingly engage in behavior that we find reprehensible in others.

Separating people from their behavior in order to treat them with dignity and respect is difficult. However, many of us are ready and willing to separate ourselves from our behavior when we “turn the tables” on someone. We feel that the responsibility for our actions then belongs to someone other than ourselves. And at that point we relinquish even more of our personal power.

When we “turn the tables’ on someone we actually turn on ourselves. We make a reaction to someone else’s words or behavior more important than our own identity and integrity. We may try to believe that we are acting with strength, but in reality we are giving in to and confirming weakness. We actually participate in the destructive work begun either intentionally or inadvertently by another.

Some of us may take the position of not reacting to someone else’s actions because we are ‘better than that.’ The very act of comparing merits means that we are still caught in the web of the power game.

We alone are responsible for the choices we make, whether we choose to blame them on environment, situations, or inheritance. If we maintain our personal power we then can make choices that will best serve our own good, and reinforce our inner truth, regardless of circumstances.

Have a Great Day and be good to yourself.  You deserve it!

Gail

Food For Thought is part of the Dignity and Respect message that is Innovations.

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