Food For Thought - "The Right Thing"

"The Right Thing"
C2002 Gail Pursell Elliott
 

Doing the ‘right thing’ can be challenging at times. Especially when it seems to be easier or to our advantage to do something else. Some have suggested that in these complicated times of ours that many have lost or lack a sense of integrity or ethics. Many school districts have begun “character education” programs, some of which are contested by parents for various reasons.

Over the years I have met many young people both through my work and through my children’s activities and friends. Their social or economic background and family environments were very different. Yet, when there was some sort of issue to be addressed or a conflict to be resolved, they all knew what it meant to “do the right thing.”

It was almost humorous when one day one of them explained a dilemma being faced and asked for advice. My advice was, “Do the right thing.” The young person then burst out, “But I don’t want to do the right thing!” The desire to react emotionally whether by trying to control another person or to exact revenge created the conflict that caused advice to be sought.

Another shared a plan, which might have been questionable in terms of ethics. The justification was that ‘no one would know.’ My response was, “That’s not true. YOU will know.” Later this same student revealed that he had made the decision not to follow through on his original plan.

It is true that values can be taught. But the word education comes from a Greek word that means “to draw forth” rather than pouring information into an empty vessel. When we encounter something that is true for us, whether we have experienced it outwardly before or not, something within us resonates. We have a sense of knowing. We instinctively know what the ‘right thing’ is for us. Then we make a conscious decision to do the right thing or try to justify not doing it.

Doing the ‘right thing’ means being true to ourselves. One of the definitions of the word “integrity” is the state of being whole and undiminished. When we choose not to do the ‘right thing’ we compromise our inner integrity – we diminish ourselves even if we are the only ones who know.

It can be difficult to do the right thing for us if we are paying more attention to what is going on outside of ourselves than what exists within. The outcome may not fall in line with our external goals, it may affect what we believe others will think of us or say about us. Doing the right thing may mean going against the tide of opinion. It may open us up to criticism or we may fear losing relationships that we value.

The most important relationship that we have is with ourselves. The most important opinion is the one we hold of ourselves. No amount of pushing that away or thinking that we can outdistance the choices we make can change that reality. Doing the “right thing” is an exercise in personal dignity and respect that has more to do with our inner integrity than any outward situation.

Have a Great Day and be good to yourself.  You deserve it!

Gail

Food For Thought is part of the Dignity and Respect message that is Innovations.

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