Food For Thought - "Power In The Darkness"

"Power In The Darkness"
C2002 Gail Pursell Elliott
 

There will be those who come into our lives who seem to understand who we are, who say all the right things and seem to admire, accept and appreciate us. We make either a personal or professional commitment based on the trust we placed in that relationship. Then we are betrayed. This is guaranteed to hurt, sometimes more than anything we can imagine.

A few years ago this happened to me in a personal relationship. I've experienced loss, disappointment, fear and betrayal in my life as all of us have. Up until this experience, my resiliency, resourcefulness, and independence had seen me through, no matter how difficult the circumstances. But nothing I'd experienced before prepared me for what happened this time. For the first time in my life I felt knocked down and didn't seem to have the strength to get back up.

The emotional distress took physical form. My body was filled with more pain than I've ever endured and there seemed to be no way to stop it. I became mentally disoriented and found it hard to work or concentrate. It was like being plunged into a personal darkness that had no points of reference.

When we are betrayed or treated with a cruelty that is hard to understand, how do we respond? Sometimes we just can't respond. At that point we must remain silent and reflect. In that reflection we may come to the realization that the person is acting upon their own feelings and sense of self more than they are reacting to anything we have said or done although the repercussions are very personal. That the treatment we receive at their hands has to do more with how they feel about themselves than it does with us. It is what we represent to them rather than who we truly are.

Though we are powerless to change what has occurred, we still have options. We can learn to cut the cord linking us to the experience so that we can move forward, return to the light, or we can hold onto what has injured us and perpetuate that darkness. We even may become the embodiment of the very thing that hurt us and treat unsuspecting innocents in a similar fashion, sharing the pain we experienced as a form of remote retaliation. Some have an inner integrity that prevents this even though they cannot release themselves from the experience. They would rather destroy themselves than destroy someone else even if the idea seems attractive, which at times it is.

The problem for many is that although we believe we have recovered from this type of experience, we may become afraid to trust or invest ourselves in new experiences. We may feel that our instincts are flawed and then retreat within ourselves refusing to trust anyone beyond the surface. Each of us is fragile and has a soft underbelly that must be treated gently.

If we are lucky we encounter an 'angel of light' who recognizes our fragility, and treats us not as two-dimensional icons, but as a human beings and with persistence, understanding, and unfailing devotion will help us to restore ourselves more completely, simply by being there for us. They are easy to recognize when they show up, if we know what to look for. They are all around us but we must choose to accept the gifts that they offer.

These people usually make time to listen and willingly inconvenience themselves for us. They express genuine happiness when we're happy about something that has nothing to do with them. They're usually not very 'flashy' but are people who do ordinary things that have extraordinary impact. They not only do these things for us but for others. They are alert to those opportunities and act upon them.

They may be strangers or old friends. They may come into our lives for brief moments or remain as friends or acquaintances for years or a lifetime. I refer to them as "angels of light" because that is what they provide. They remind us of who we truly are when situations have caused us to lose that perspective. Often they do these things without ever realizing the impact that they have made.

We cannot control what comes to us in life, but we always can control what we do with the experience. The times in our lives in which we feel that we have the least power are actually the times when we have the most. Those are the times in which we affirm or redefine who we are, what we believe, and make choices that can impact ourselves and those we encounter for a lifetime. It is Food For Thought.

Have a Great Day and be good to yourself.  You deserve it!

Gail

Food For Thought is part of the Dignity and Respect message that is Innovations.

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